Brickblog

Got an updated appraisal today…

The summary goes something like:
Yes, the things I pointed out have been fixed, but I found new stuff, so um, fix it. Until you do, you can’t close on the house. Tootalo.

For the sake of the children I will not publish the rant I sent to a select few, who might enjoy my grandfather McIntire’s sailer’s mouth coming out of every fiber of my soul.

How is it fair, right, or otherwise to just come back and find something else new that was not previously disclosed? Are we dealing with amateurs here?

This isn’t the first sign of rank stupidity either. Another visit out resulted in asking where the appliances were. Oh, you mean the one’s we’re rolling in to the 203k streamline that will fix the roof as well? Which you know about? The ones we can’t buy until we close on the house? The one’s we’d be pure asses to buy and put in a house WE DON’T YET OWN?!

I better stop, before I go against my better judgement and list the appraiser’s name, or delve in to a swearing rant the likes the internets have never seen.

While I wrote this post, my loving wife, with much more flare for the English language, wrote this:

Last time on “Red Elephant” our hero and heroine had to wait another week for closing because their lender was so far behind. After some heated, but still polite, phone calls from our hero the lender finally agreed that they should pay all the fees for closing late and the fee to extend our rate. Will they ever close? The world may never know.

Meanwhile at the elephant… the big bad appraiser went back out to see how the elephant was looking. Although she agreed that the painting she asked for was done and the water was working… the big bad appraiser is always on the lookout for faults. This time instead of complaining that we didn’t put appliances in a house we don’t own, or that the sink upstairs should be called a kitchen even though there is no plug for a stove, the cunning appraiser decided to identify new places the paint had chipped and take pictures of them to include in the final appraisal.

Disheartened and angry, the hero called the lender saying WTF! (And this time he wasn’t so polite.) The lender quickly replied, “We’ll call it self help…. I think I can get that through in the next 24 hours.” YAY! They all cried (some literally) and survived another crisis.

Stay tuned next time when we find out: will they or won’t they be moving this weekend?

Who needs “General Hospital” when you can have real life! – Amanda